If You Wanna Break These Walls Down You’re Gonna Get Bruised

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From seeing me on social media, you probably wouldn’t know that I grew up being the odd one out.
I was targeted in school by girls my age for dressing differently and not being interested in partying or boys. I didn’t keep friends for very long because they would be scared away by my father or get bored that I was never allowed to hang out after school/stay over on weekends.

That feeling of ‘outsider-ness’ has stuck with me as an adult, I still have a constant fear that people will discover I’m not ‘cool’ and cast me aside, and for that reason I find it incredibly difficult to connect with or trust people when I’m never sure if people like me for who I am, rather than what I can get them.

However, I’m extremely lucky to have found people in wrestling who are as odd as me, who understand feeling like an outsider – but never treat me like one.
Part of the reason I developed my character The Princess of Ponsonby is because she is so opposite to me, while she flaunts her wealth and beauty and demands attention, I’m in a $12 Kmart hoodie staring at my feet refusing to make eye contact. 

Do I think I will ever get over feeling like a fraud? 
Probably not, but consciously participating in my life, rather than sitting back and letting loneliness be my default setting is a good start.
I’m sure that after a while people will get used to me singing ‘Silly Songs with Larry’ over Top40 hits.

-Ash

The Princess of Ponsonby 

Comments

  1. Unknown18 October 2017 at 12:35

    If people can tolerate my love of country then you can sing till your heart's content. Whatever makes you happy. Follow your heart. Follow your passion. You're an amazing person with really good values. That's what counts. You're a great role model to the girls in the crowd. Keep it up xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hullitude18 October 2017 at 16:05

    Compared to me you're as normal as they come in my eyes, never once considered you as odd haha

    As someone who can relate to your story pretty damn well, I'm glad you took the time to get to know me and talk to me this year. You're an amazing person Ash and your character in the ring works so well.

    Keep being you, keep singing to whatever you want and most importantly we're all odd so you'll never be alone in that regard. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown18 October 2017 at 22:31

      I got good at blending in with the crowd, now I’m learning to stand out again 😅 don’t worry you’ll see my weird side soon enough.

      Delete

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